You’re about to make a decision. One you know is right. You felt it inside. It seemed you were led right to it—and just as you are about to sign the dotted line, so to speak, a voice in your head rears up telling you that if you choose this, you are going to miss out on something else. Is this the voice of your intuition? On today’s show I’ll be busting the MYTH that following your intuition leads you away from good opportunities and I’ll talk about just how your intuition speaks to you— even when it’s trying to warn you.
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You’re about to make a decision. One you know is right. You felt it inside. It seemed you were led right to it—and just as you are about to sign the dotted line, so to speak, a voice in your head rears up telling you that if you choose this, you are going to miss out. Well that’s exactly what happened to a friend of mine. Is it true? Did he miss out? Was that voice in his head really his intuition speaking to him? What the heck was that voice that appeared out of nowhere just as the decision was about to be made? On today’s show I’ll be busting the MYTH that following your intuition leads you away from good opportunities.
The fear of missing out (FOMO) on an important opportunity or of losing one is something that frequently happens when your intuition tells you to say “No” to something. It’s a common crossroads circumstance for those moments when the decision you are making closes off another path or you perceive it might. After listening to this episode you’ll know just what FOMO is, what to do when it rears its suggestive head, and also garner some information on just how your intuition speaks to you—even when it’s trying to warn you.
Do you crave clarity and insight? Do you sense that your intuition is trying to tell you important things, but you have a hard time trusting it? Do you want access to your own internal wisdom, and to understand how it operates so that you can guide your life in ways that are meaningful and satisfying?
Well then, welcome, I’m glad you are here.
I’m your host, Aimée Cartier. I’ve been a professional psychic, since around 2007. I’m the author of the book, “Getting Answers: Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Best Life.” I’ve been teaching others to understand and use their own intuitive and empathic abilities for more than a decade.
Join me each week for true stories and tools that will inspire you to take seriously, your own inner knowing—that internal sense that you have uniquely tailored to YOU and designed to not only set you on the roads that are best for you but also help you avoid the ones that are treacherous.
It’s time for you to OWN YOUR INTUITION.
I’m putting a plug in for this upfront: If you find today’s show useful—will you let me know!? I love hearing from you and I read all your reviews! It means the world to me. I’m alone when I write these shows—so I LOVE to know that they are hitting their mark, that they are providing meaning, inspiration, and encouragement for you to own your intuition. You can always make a comment on questions you’d like me to cover on the show too. Maybe I’ll ladle it in on another episode.
Thank you to those of you who’ve already taken the time to like, share, and comment on this show. It means sooooo much to me!
Okay, let’s get to it.
I had a friend call me once in a moment of hesitation. He said, “Do you have a second? I just need to talk this through a bit.” He told me how he had just found the perfect place to live (House A). His family loved it, the kids were already planning out their bedrooms and imagining playing in the yard. And it practically fell into his lap at just the right time and he was so excited about it. And then, just before he was ready to sign the lease on House A he was having a case of FOMO or fear of missing out.
You see, there was another place too (House B)—that maybe could have been cooler for some reasons. It wasn’t as fresh as the feeling that they had with house A, but it had its charms – and just before he was about to close the deal on House A (the one he loved) his mind was like, “Hey wait! What about House B!? Would that be better? What if I’m having all of these great and easy and yes feelings about House A, but House B is really better?”
It confused him. He called me because he wanted to know— “Are these thoughts that are coming up my intuition telling me that the one I am about to sign on is NOT the right place? That despite all signs that House A is the best—maybe I’ve missed something and should really be signing on House B.”
Because of who I am and what I do it was easy for me to use my second sight and quickly look into it for him. What I discovered was that in alignment with what he was feeling before his FOMO kicked in– House A was the best place for him and his family.
FOMO, fear of missing out, can be so confusing—and it is something that does naturally arise when we are faced with definite alternatives. It can be especially loud when we are making choices that will define our path or future opportunities, or are related to something we really want or believe in. The last thing we want to do is lose out on an opportunity—so even if it’s not until the very end of the process—like it happened for my friend—JUST BEFORE he was about to sign the lease—the doubting thoughts can arise.
What it is helpful to know about it is this: FOMO, fear of missing out, is your brain, not your intuition. It is your brain’s job to think of all the possibilities. That’s what it does. That’s what it is good for. It’s the brain’s job to come up with reasons or to work through all alternatives with logic. It is doing its due diligence when it is giving you all the “Well, have you thought of this!?” statements— especially when you are faced with decisions that will move you in one direction and away from another. However, just because your mind can come up with reasons why you should override your intuitive impulses or just because it invents all kinds of scenarios you will be missing out on to consider— does NOT MEAN your inner knowing was wrong or that it should be overridden. In other words, trust your inner knowing, despite your brain’s – “what if” “oh have you thought of this?” “But did you consider!?” What it means when your brain is coming up with these thoughts and ideas is that your brain is doing its job. It’s thinking through all the things! It wants to protect you from a bad choice. It thinks if it tells you all these things it will help you. When you are talking about it trying to talk you out of a choice your intuition guided you toward though—what your brain doesn’t know, is that it is NOT HELPING! It’s doing the opposite!
Still, it’s good to remember, your brain is doing this out of love for you. It doesn’t want you to miss out on anything important! You are important to your brain! It’s committed to your continued existence! In fact, your continued existence may be paramount for your brain– even over your happiness!
Your intuition does not lead you to BAD choices. Its job is to lead you down the roads that will help you flourish—no matter how different, or unconventional, or outside of the box they may be.
So to repeat. Even when your inner wisdom is guiding you toward the choice that is best for you—it’s important to know that YOUR BRAIN may come up with some stories about how if you choose this, you will be missing out on an opportunity. That’s why today we’re busting the myth that following what your intuition says will make you miss out or lose a good opportunity. It’s the opposite actually. Your intuition IS GUIDING YOU to the best opportunities! Even if or when your brain pops in with the “what ifs.”
Remember in episode three when I told you the story of how in my 20’s my intuition told me very clearly not to date a certain man and I overrode it? Remember that since I couldn’t find “a reason” not to date him I did anyway despite what my inner knowing was saying? And how it ended in his betrayal and my heartache? That’s a good example of the kind of quote “opportunities” your intuition tries to lead you away from. The ones that suck!
My friend never found out what would have sucked about House B. That’s because he signed the lease on House A, as his intuition had guided him, and he’s been happily living there ever since.
I reference this phenomenon in a different way in my book, Getting Answers: Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Best Life. In the chapter entitled, “Secret Ingredient #3: Fear Transformed” I talk about many of the ways that fear arises and what to do about it. I wrote:
I’ve included this chapter because I want to be up front about the fact that even if your answer comes from the highest place, you may still experience fear when you go to act on it, or even when you think about acting on it. Fear may come up, but do not take this as a sign that you’re on the wrong track. The only thing that fear indicates for certain is that your heart is still beating (probably rapidly), and you are still breathing in and out (probably very shallowly). The problem is not that we experience fear; the problem is when we allow that fear either to paralyze us or to dictate our actions.
So, when those stories rear up in your mind, in those moments where your brain is trying to think of everything or trying to dissuade you from doing what you know is best or what is new or may feel scary—it’s okay. Recognize, that ultimately, even if its tactics aren’t the best your brain is trying to help. Just tell it, “Thanks anyway. I got this though.” I’m going to talk in a bit about how your intuition speaks to you in yeses (not no’s) so stay tuned. But first, another story.
This is Aimée Cartier, psychic and author, and your show host. You are listening to the Own Your Intuition show. Today we are busting the myth that your intuition leads you away from good opportunities. It’s the opposite that is true.
When I was 31 my intuition led me to an island in the Puget Sound that felt like home to me as no place had ever been. I grew up in MN—and although in my adult life I have a great appreciation for what a progressive and beautiful place MN is. I hated—and I mean I always hated the MN winters. One of the first journal entries I ever made as a girl was about how I couldn’t stand the winter and I was moving away from this state as soon as I possibly could. I did that too! As soon as I graduated college, exactly 3 days later, I moved to the West Coast. Though I had been gone from MN for years when, years later, I found myself drawn to an island in the Puget Sound, my family thought I was crazy. I think my mom may have worried that this place it was only accessible by boat. I’m not totally sure—I never actually asked her— because I didn’t REALLY want to know! I just heard it in her voice when I was describing the details. One time, when I was back visiting MN, after I had already been living on the island for a few years, one of my sisters and I were standing in front of a mirror at my parent’s house putting on our mascara when she piped up with, “I think that island is too small for you. I think you need to live somewhere bigger.” I think she was just parroting the sentiments of my parents in that moment. She was trying to save me from “some inevitable imagined doom”—or a missed opportunity (—just like the brain does by the way). I just nodded and said something non-committal like, “Hmmm.” I knew it was all in love. They were just sharing their fears for me. They were likely worried that I wouldn’t find what I needed in life in such a small place. That I wouldn’t find a partner. I don’t know. Again, I’m not really sure exactly what they were afraid of—because I didn’t bother to ask. I didn’t really want or need the details! In any case, my choice to move to a small island where I knew no one, was an unconventional choice for a single woman in her 30s. I’ll grant that. Still, I knew. When I heard their concerns, I recognized them for what they were—fear for me, based in love for me.
It's a good example, because sometimes the “you’re missing out” thoughts come from outside of yourself. There are the internal ones your brain may come up with—and then there are the external ones that others share or say to you about your intuitive choice. Not everyone will get that you are making a choice from an internal knowing. Not everyone will have the same understanding that this choice IS important to YOU. That’s okay too. I didn’t need my sister’s or my parents’ approval in order to make my choice. I was already a grown woman. So, I didn’t really mind that they couldn’t see it. I knew it and that knowing was solid and strong.
I met my husband here, on this island I live. We are raising our children here. I live on a piece of property my husband has been making beautiful since long before I arrived. I write, teach, and see clients in a studio he built for me on our property.
Years before I ever got to this moment in time I would get glimpses of my future—not necessarily specifics—but when I looked ahead with my inner knowing I could see and feel what it was like down the road in my future. I remember one day several years ago, I was sitting in my studio when I realized that I was LIVING exactly that feeling I had felt was my future all those years ago. I was IN the future I had foreseen—or maybe fore-felt would be more accurate! I couldn’t have had it if I had left the island or gone somewhere else. The future was calling me from the spot where I now live, on the island I was guided to all those years ago.
You are listening to the Own Your Intuition show. I’m your host, psychic, and author, Aimée Cartier. Today we are busting the myth that your intuition leads you away from good opportunities. In fact, it leads you toward the best ones!
In preparation for this podcast, when I scanned my memory thinking of all the times I have experienced FOMO, fear of missing out, I realized that it usually came after making a choice based entirely on my intuition– sometimes one that didn’t totally make sense in a logical fashion or one in which logic might tell me to do something else. Then my brain would kick in with that internal, “Well have you thought of this? Maybe you didn’t look at it from this perspective! Are you sure that is the right choice?”
So I want to be clear– your active brain is NOT a final red flag FROM your intuition. It has nothing to do with your intuition. It’s a mammalian brain response. It’s something that happens all the time—your brain thinks through different possibilities. It can just sometimes have this feeling of intensity when you are about to make a choice that closes off another, even if it is your best choice. FOMO IS NOT YOUR INTUITION SPEAKING.
Actually, and importantly, your intuition most often directs you in “yeses.” Conversely, FOMO is a “no message.” It’s a don’t-do-this-because-of-this-bad-thing-happening. That’s not how your intuition speaks. When your intuition is trying to guide you away from a poor choice, it will do so with a yes feeling. For the sake of an explaining metaphor, say you are in a dark alley and you have a choice to go two ways, unbeknownst to you danger lurks at one end. Your intuition doesn’t scream at you, “NO! NO! NO! Don’t go that way!!!!” It will guide you to the BETTER choice with something more akin to, “Hmmmm, I think this way is better. It feels better.” By choosing the way that felt like a “yes” you may have avoided great danger, or many set-backs, or heartache or whatever your intuition was trying to prevent you from getting into—but your intuition doesn’t usually guide you by showing you what awaits you down the bad path. MORE OFTEN it shows you the best path by giving you a feeling of opening, lightness, “yes” or goodness in one direction. That is the feeling to follow.
That is what my friend had about his House A. It aligned in so many ways with a very intentional vision he had had for himself and his family. And yet, at that moment his mind was like, “Woah! Hold on buddy! Do you really know what you are doing?”
That’s okay. That’s the job of the mind. Especially if it thinks it’s being left out. ;) You don’t however have to buy the story– even if it is on offer. It’s just another story. Have you ever seen that bumper sticker, “Don’t believe everything you think”? I love that one. Your mind can (and does) come up with all kinds of baloney. And it may do so even when you are about to tread a path you intuitively know is the best one for you. But I know from experience when I ignore the mind chatter of creative what-if-crappy-ending scenarios and follow the “yes” I always win. Intuition leads you forward with the good feeling.
I can’t call to mind a single case where FOMO has ever really had or given good advice. It’s fear. It’s natural and human. But it is not the standard mode of intuitive knowing. And it is certainly not the council to follow.
So my advice? Ignore it. Give it a “Thank you, but I’m okay here.”
Head down the “yes” road even if your brain wants to give your intuition the run-around, or present another array of what-if-you-are-missing-out/but-have-you-thought-of-this-angle alternatives. If you follow the “yes” you will be missing out on something: The crappier road. I highly recommend missing that!
If today’s show was useful to you—let me know. I LOVE to hear from you!
Join me next week where we will explore how your intuition speaks to you in a language YOU can understand. You already have the power to decipher its messages, no books, or dictionary necessary. I’ll show you.
This is Aimée Cartier and you have been listening to the Own Your Intuition show.
Did you love this episode? I hope so! If you did, would you mind taking a second to like it where you get your podcasts? And a review or a comment of how it impacted you would be divine! It makes a big difference for me and keeps me from feeling like I’m talking into a vacuum (into space)! I want to hear from you!
In September, I’ll be starting my next Own Your Intuition program. It’s a seven-month long journey together. We’ll meet every other week over the phone. If you are tired of doubting yourself and want tools that will show you can trust your inner knowing —join me. You don’t need special crystals, or oils, or a gadget of any kind. To Own Your Intuition you need a dozen or so practices that help you manage, hone, and tune into your wisest knowing for practical and positively life enhancing guidance. You can use these on a regular and reliable basis anytime anywhere. This is what I teach. I hope you will join us. You can find out more about the program at www.AimeeCartier.com/ownyourintuition or find the link in the show notes.
In the mean time— are you ready to move toward understanding and using YOUR OWN intuition? Download my free audio entitled, “What is intuition? How to tell the difference between the voice of your intuition and your "fear-based" ideas.” Find the link in the show notes. ((or on my website: www.AimeeCartier.com-- note, currently not on my website.))
See ya soon!