37. Do you long for fame and influence? Here's something to keep you happy along the way.

Did you know that the course of my life was once changed by a song I heard in a bar?  Of course not.  But you will after this episode.  On today’s show we are exploring fame, influence and what it means to be truly successful.  This episode is for you ESPECIALLY  if you long for fame and influence or if you feel a failure because you haven’t reached them, and/or if you feel that numbers are the most important measure of your success.

Show Notes

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Transcript

Did you know that the course of my life was once changed by a song I heard in a bar?  Of course you didn't know.  But you will after this episode.  On today’s show we are exploring fame, influence and what it means to be truly successful.  This episode is for you ESPECIALLY  if you long for fame and influence or if you feel a failure because you haven’t reached them, and/or if you feel that numbers are the most important measure of your success.

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MUSIC  **Ayla Nereo, "All of this" song clip**

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Do you crave clarity and insight?  Do you sense that your intuition is trying to tell you important things, but you have a hard time trusting it?  Do you want access to your own internal  wisdom, and to understand how it operates so that you can guide your life in ways that are meaningful and satisfying?  

 Well then, welcome, I’m glad you are here.

 I’m your host, Aimée Cartier.  I’ve been a professional psychic, since around 2007.   I’m the author of the book, “Getting Answers: Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Best Life.”  I’ve been teaching others to understand and use their own intuitive and empathic abilities for more than a decade.  

 Join me each week for true stories and tools that will inspire you to take seriously, your own inner knowing—that internal sense that you have uniquely tailored to YOU and designed to not only set you on the roads that are best for you but also help you avoid the ones that are treacherous. 

 It’s time for you to OWN YOUR INTUITION.

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Many years ago, in about 2010, I was sitting in a bar in Portland, Oregon.  What bar?  I cannot remember.  My girlfriend Megan, who lives there and had guided us to our location, and I had just ordered beers and sat down.  A few minutes later one lone man started to play.  I believe he was playing a mandolin—but that part is a little faded.  I’m not a musician, so those are not details I lock onto.  Maybe it was a guitar?  But I think a mandolin.  What I do remember was that there wasn’t really a stage in this place.  He was sort of playing in the middle of it all—in a cleared space of wood planked floor between the bar, the booths, and the bathrooms.  His voice and style was compelling, so my girlfriend and I got up and moved a little closer—until we were standing not too far away from him.  

 I was single at the time.  But what is more important about that piece of the story was that at that time, I was actually pining after a man who was energetically and emotionally unavailable.  He had been haunting me for months (Not purposely! I don’t even think he knew! Haha!)  I didn’t really know why—but I couldn’t let it go of the idea of him in my mind—even though I could clearly ascertain that this pathway of a relationship between he and I was not an open road.  I wasn’t really standing there thinking about it at that moment in the bar in Portland—but it had this sort of ever-present haunting feeling to me during that time period of my life: the ghost of a relationship that never was.  It ate at me.  

 About two songs into his set, the musician started a song about a woman he loved who was unavailable.  I was standing close to him—and I’m empathic—so I could feel the emotion coming off him in strong waves as he leaned into the chorus.   As the song went, he tried and tried to make it work with this woman and yet the end result was the same: nothing.  He had his whole heart and soul in that song.  He had his eyes closed and was belting it out with feeling and power.  It was a song about an unrequited love– about pining for someone who just couldn’t partner you.  While watching him, I felt his emotion so strongly in my body and immediately recognized the resonance to my own situation.  I dove with him, riding deeply on the waves of emotion he put into that song—the emotion he had incited but that also existed in my own body.  Through watching this man, the musician, through hearing his song—his penetrating lyrics that so matched my own situation—in the course of however long it took for him to sing that song— (I don’t know, 3 minutes!?) I realized thoroughly, inside and out, that pining for this elusive man was a COMPLETE WASTE OF MY TIME.  One, apparently just like the musician, I had already spent months on.  That song, that moment, in an unknown (to me now) bar, by an unknown to me musician (otherwise I would give him credit), was a pivot point for me in my life.  Listening to that one song, one time, one spring evening while visiting a girlfriend in Portland gave me everything I needed to choose a different road.  Literally from that moment on I dropped all thoughts of this unavailable man.  I concluded the story later that evening in my journal (back at my girlfriend’s house) mentioning what I had received from the song/that moment and I did not look back.  His name did not appear again in the pages of my writing.  In the time it took for one man to sing a song, he changed the course of mine with ease and allowed me to gracefully chart another better course for myself: one that did not include pining after an unavailable man.  

 Actually, though I would have to look back through old journals to see if I could find the exact dates, to my memory, my husband and I had our very first date within weeks of that moment.  And I did so with zero ghosts, no fictitious relationships haunting me—all thanks to one man’s songwriting.

 This is psychic and author, Aimée Cartier, and you are listening to the Own Your Intuition show.  Today, though, you can’t tell yet, we are talking about fame and recognition—pining for it—and what it means (to you) to be truly successful.

 So, do you yearn to be famous—recognized by many?  I’ve seen this time and time again over my years of doing psychic readings.  (In fact I’ve felt it myself and more on that in a bit.)  One of the best and easiest to see examples of this was a reading I did once for an incredibly gifted, creative and talented musician/singer.  She had several albums under her belt and was appreciated by others.  She came to me because she was releasing a new album and she wanted to know if it would be a success.  Essentially she wanted to know if this was the album that would help her “strike it big!”  During our reading I could see that the album would be very well received, that her creative genius would continue to grow and be appreciated, that her deepest satisfaction would come from performing live (not selling albums), and that people’s lives would be enhanced by her sharing her genius.  I could also see that she was very unlikely to fill stadiums in her lifetime.  I didn’t say those exact words to her but she could tell from the other words I was saying that this album, while very successful on many fronts, was not going to bring her thousands of followers or help her be recognized in droves.  I could also tell that she was extremely disappointed by this news.

 All these years later this reading has stayed with me.  Namely because it caused me to see yet again how sometimes this age that we live in creates false expectations in each of us about what it means to be truly successful.  Here was a woman with brilliant creative genius, positively contributing to the lives of others and her own satisfaction by doing this work who still felt like a failure because she was holding herself to an example that is only actually achieved by a few. 

 Think of how many people there are in the world.  Now think of how many are in the extreme spotlight—filling stadiums or holding huge political or thoughtful influence of others.  Compared to the number of people alive— those in the spotlight are miniscule.  And yet we continue to not only attempt to strive for that position but also sometimes fail to recognize the achievement of what is actually happening in our lives—because someone else is “bigger.”

 In time’s past a musician did her thing, she sung in her community, she garnered satisfaction and recognition for doing this thing by doing it in her community.  She had no idea of stadiums or the levels of gigantic numbers of people who can be reached today.  Now, due to the internet/our access to information, and because of the way we can congregate in today’s day and age (coming in planes and our cars from afar to fill stadiums and the like) we each of us hold these lofty standards about what it means to be successful.  

 I used to feel that way too.

 I can’t remember exactly when it dissipated.  It was some years back, probably also coinciding with my becoming a mother and realizing that my work in the world was now multi-faceted.  I had a family to care for and that felt like a priority to me.  So I stepped back and committed to growing my work as a psychic and positive influence organically in the way that also best suited my other commitments— namely raising children.

 After I started teaching my intuition programs I also began the self-inquiry of what it actually took for me to be and feel successful.  And I started to ask myself, “What does that mean?” It is still something I refer to frequently and check in about.

 The conclusion I came to was this: My life is a success (in terms of my career) when I am effectively doing quality work in the world—whether that be psychic readings, writing books, or creating and teaching programs that truly serve and positively impact the lives of those who come to me.  Whether that is one person arriving for my Intuition University private program, a handful for my empath or Own Your Intuition Programs or thousands.  

 Many years ago I made the startling (to me) realization that my success wasn’t actually about numbers at all.  It was about people—and even one person served was a satisfying use of my life force and energy.

 This realization has allowed me easily and without struggle do my work—to write books, do readings, to start and grow programs that positively influence and benefit the lives of others, and to be a mother, wife, and friend and family member.  These days I receive applications for my programs months before my next program starts.  I love that—primarily because it means the people who need or desire my guidance are finding me—but internally I still know, even though the numbers continue to steadily grow, it’s not about the numbers.  It’s about the quality.  For me it’s about using my life force to serve and uplift myself  and others and our lives.

 Recently I went into Seattle, to 3rd Place Books, to see a woman who was a student of mine, Michelle Cassandra Johnson (you heard from her in episode 8 of the Own Your Intuition show).  She was there on tour to read from her newest book.  It is called, “We Heal Together: Rituals and Practices for Building Community and Connection.”  A couple of days later Michelle and I were sitting on the deck of my studio overlooking our pond talking about the various happenings of our lives.  We were talking about books we were working on when I realized that since the time we worked together, Michelle has written five books, (including “Skill in Action” which she completed just after our time together.)  Michelle unites yoga and social justice and racial equity work—and if you don’t know her you should.  She’s a bright light on this earth.  Five books she has written!  Meanwhile I’m still knee deep in the manuscript for my current book, the previous one, Getting Answers having been published in 2010!  In the time that I’ve written zero—Michelle has written five.  We were laughing about that and I was high fiving her for her contributions to humanity.  She has far out surpassed me in work in the world over the last six years since we worked together in 2017- 2018.  From my point of view, this is cause for jubilation!  Michelle is doing her work!  I’m doing mine.  Each of us in the pacing that works best for us!  Not relative to each other or in competition with one another.  It’s not a race—for numbers.  For me, success is in the quality—which Michelle is also creating.  If I have to go slow but can create richness— I’m proud of my contributions—big numbers or small.  If Michelle, or anyone else can go faster while also producing quality—hurrah!!!  That’s amazing!

 This is Aimée Cartier and if you just tuned in to join us, you are listening to the Own Your Intuition show.  Today we are talking about fame and influence and the true measures of success.

 Do you remember where we started at the beginning of this episode?  The story of how my life was changed, completely altered in the time it took for one song to be sung?  

 This man, this musician will never know he changed my life—primarily because I don’t even know his name!  The crowd was not large.  And yet, his impact, through his heartfelt contribution was profound.  It actually positively altered the course of my life and the state of my mind.

 Can you see how THIS IS A MEASURMENT OF SUCCESS if you let it be?  Contributing with your heart and soul—whether you are providing snacks to your smalls, or writing or painting masterpieces—whether you are singing to stadiums, or touching the lives of the few that gather near you?  Being smaller than stadium size is neither a waste of a life, nor a true measure of success.

 So, some food for thought if you want it.  

 If you yearn for fame or influence or if you feel like a failure because you haven’t achieved a gigantic measure of influence, I am offering you this: it may be time to reevaluate your standards.  This is NOT about lowering your quality (far from it)—it’s about recognizing that your magic may or may not be meant for thousands— and that the numbers aren’t always the measurement that counts.  And often, they aren’t even in our control.

 It’s about getting and staying congruent with the offerings that you are making and do make—whether that is a smile and a friendly attitude to your coworkers, teaching your children how to be human, or an album showcasing your current musical genius to those who stumble upon you.   

 You might consider asking yourself… “In what ways does it feel important to me to use my life force?  Am I doing that?  Are there ways that feel graceful for me to do more of that?  Are there other things that are also a priority for me that may rightfully deter my steady focus on this aspect of myself right now?

 Just to be clear—I am not suggesting that you play small, or shoot low, or do not welcome broad strokes of humanity should they come to witness your genius.  I am suggesting you know that your worth is not a set of numbers—it’s the light you shine as you move about this earth in any space, of any size, whether you are witnessed or no.

 I wish you the grace and the understanding to enjoy this as you go, wherever you are now and wherever be your destination.  

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This is Aimée and you have been listening to the Own Your Intuition show!  If you like, you can create a more impactful and deep relationship with your own inner knowing by studying with me in my private Intuition University program.  If you like you can download the freebies I’ve got in the show notes or over on my website, www.AimeeCartier.com, or you can get on my schedule for a reading.  If you like you can meet me back here next week—same place—where ever you listen to your podcasts.  You know that staring, commenting, and sharing this podcast makes a difference to me.  Thank you, if you’ve already taken your precious time to do so, or will be doing so soon. 

See you soon!  All my love.